Friday, January 21, 2011


It's been a bit. And in fact if you are following me, then I can only guess you know my current whereabouts. But to be fair to my legacy, this one will be out of place. I am now in Los Angeles, but after this blog i will go back and post all the things i want able to for ab out 6 months. Which is alot.
It was a hell of a lot in my little life. Thats why i didnt post. Because i was living. This typing box b.s. isnt a real life. Its just a public way of trying to feel like people care about it. Evry journal is just that, a vain attempt at someon discovering it and caring.
We all want someone to care. And honestly... this is truly the best thing i could ever tell anyone.
There actually is someone out there that cares. Probaly the person sitting next to you. Its that initial "hello" we go all outs to find. You don't get it? Think about the last time you went "searching for the remote".
I was digressing. Here is what i want to say about L.A. today. Then i will go back in time. Then i will work my way forward.
Once again. I love you all.

in quotes

Los Angeles is an ideal synonymous with glamour and grime. I heard the grime. In all its gory. I tried to sleep tonight about 4 am. That was endeavor was quickly interrupted by the repeated swirling of near flying helicopter rotors and nay-faring spotlights. I can only assume they were after some bad person and their intent was noble. An hour later (it was unending) the darkest most tired parts of myself rooted for the hero to realize the man in black got away (with flashes of realization that there was a broken family that cared little for the sleep of the populace and wanted the accused brought down) just so the swirling sounds that made me feel both paranoid and guilty and a little bit like I was on the receiving end of my fathers lawnmower would go away so I could sleep because tomorrow was the day I changed history and then my thoughts trail on and on in self righteous ness. In the end I realize that this whole experience is new to me, and in an even darker place I am glad.